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CHOOSEY LOVER




As I was recently giving my fingers their quarterly workout, by swiping through Tinder. Yes, this is a thing I do because of my love-hate relationship with the app. I will periodically redownload and see what the latest offerings are. Because: why not? You could say that I am an eternal optimist, so I check-in to see if there are any newly single, mentally stable, emotional and physically available, well-traveled, stylish men in my immediate area. Makes sense to me.


This time as I was exercising swiping, I was on a train traveling through the middle of Switzerland and let’s just say that the pickings were mighty slim. It was so dire, that it had me thinking that maybe, just maybe I had been too rash in ending some of my previous situation-ships. I was seriously asking myself…were they that bad? Ok, luckily I snapped out it…but it was touch and go for a minute.


After the panic faded, I remembered that those relationships didn’t work out because they were not the right situation for me and that is ok. I had the time I had and learned what I needed to and then just like the circus; it was over. What was crystal clear after my somewhat forced moment of reflection: THERE WERE NOT any newly single, mentally stable, emotional and physically available, well-traveled, stylish men in my immediate area! And the quickest thing I could do in the name of self-care, love, and all that is holy was to delete that damn app… again.


However, before I bid adieu to my frenemy… I came across one profile that provided me with a kind of simple joy that is so rare to find in this day age and even more so, in the dating site. But hey, I have never been one to look a gift horse in the mouth. I can’t really remember much about his physical profile, if had to pick him up out of lineup- I could not. It was what he wrote captured all of my attention. With just ten seemingly insignificant words he expressed the mindset and the place I am in on my life journey. His profile simply stated: I AM LOOKING FOR SOMEONE WHO IS LOOKING FOR ME.


Mind blowing in its simplicity. Sometimes it is the easy things that we miss because we are too busy trying to complicate every little thing. Now there was no doubt that this guy was not my guy at all. BUT I did appreciate his authentic and unfussy way he communicated his wishes. If only everyone was this straightforward.


His words inspired me. It seemed so obvious, clearly, we should be looking for people that are looking for us. But are we really? If not, don’t we owe it to ourselves to start? We need to learn to choose people who are choosing us…intentionally, actively, and often.


This is something that goes far beyond dating and romantic relationships. Moving forward this is the only energy I am welcoming and entertaining. I require all the relationships in my life be to reciprocal, loving, and nurturing to either my mind + body + soul. Extra points for all three.


“You will never have to chase what wants to stay with you.” -Unknown


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