I recently started my seasonal pilgrimage down Tinder Lane and found a most promising match. I won’t say he was using a proper full-court press put he was definitely letting it be known that he was interested. Or so I thought…
He took every opportunity to extol his virtues. He mentioned on more than one occasion that he had a chalet in the alps, a boat on the lake, an oceanfront apartment here. You get the drift; he was trying to impress me with a capital I.
However, material possessions are not the key to my heart. Don’t get me wrong all of his things were wonderful, but I know first-hand that money does not buy love or happiness. Luckily, for me he was also intelligent, well-travelled, and genuinely sounded like a nice guy. I was game.
He called me- yes, a proper phone call and invited me to lunch the next day. I was taken a back because I the previous evening he drive over 4 hours to the other side of Switzerland to spend the weekend. I confirmed that the lunch would take place in Geneva before commiting and he told me of course, I will drive back tonight. Ok, I personally hate driving, but if he likes it, I love it…for him.
We had, what I thought was a pretty fantastic first date. In fact, it was the last gorgeous sunny spring day in Geneva since. He even came to pick me up in a beautiful boat yep, a boat. That was definitely a first. It was one of the best dates I had had in recent memory. However, I detected a shift in the energy on the ride back. Nothing, absolutely nothing had happened, but I could feel that the energy was off.
I assumed (and you know what they say about that) that he would dock the boat and walk me to my car or at the very least we would chat awhile longer. And that is exactly what did NOT happen. It was like the man could not get me off his boat fast enough. To be fair, he did attempt to dock. However, even I, a very unexperienced sailor could tell that something was amiss. He quickly became frustrated with the effort and sped off. Then he abruptly went around to another slip. This time, it was obvious that he was not staying. Hell… he barely slowed down. As he was easing into the slot, he told me that he was sorry but that I would have to jump -did I mind?
To say I was shocked would be an understatement but, of course I took it all in stride. One rather long stride to be exact. I didn’t actually have to jump off the boat. He was close enough to dock that I could easily step off. I turned back to thank him for the day, he looked at me with a pained expression- said sorry and asked if he could call me. I am pretty sure I had a bewildered look on my face, nevertheless I managed to mumble okay.
As I walked away, I knew. I knew that I would not be hearing from him again. I must admit I was genuinely surprised it ended like that. Remember the full- court press I mentioned? He had put in work.
I will never know what happened -and that is ok. I could have spun out and started creating different scenarios in my head wondering what I did wrong? Why didn’t he like me? Or worse still, I could have contacted him under the guise of closure and asked him what happened (yikes). I am not conducting a survey, so why would I do that?
There is absolutely no reason. We met and shared a meal, a bottle of wine, and an interesting conversation. Sometimes that’s all it is, and we have to be fine with that. I showed up as my authentic self, and he couldn’t handle it or didn’t like it- that sounds like it is 100% his issue and not mine.
In a perfect world every ending would be neatly wrapped up with a bow. But in reality, that is rarely the case. That closure that you are looking for is inside of you. Just like no response is a response. No closure is just that…closure. Accept it and learn the lessons with grace.
Close those doors that no longer lead anywhere; so that you can step confidently in the direction of your future.
“Celebrate endings- for they precede new beginnings.”- Johnathan Lockwood Huie